Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I seem to have left my pride at pride
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
