Sorry, I don't speak sober.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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