I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
