it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
