I hope mine doesn't look like that
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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