the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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