: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
