the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
