Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
