Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize