Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
