Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
