she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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