He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
