A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize