I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
There was a lot of him and a little penis
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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