Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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