whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
