Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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