If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I need moral support for this bender
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize