he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
