my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
