Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
