I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
