We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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