I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
