I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
