Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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