Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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