you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
