i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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