is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
