No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
