i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
