That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
