You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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