Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
