I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
