I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
