Please, let me fuck your mom
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize