I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
