Cold hands, warm shart.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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