So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
