I will die if light touches me.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
