We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
