she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
