susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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