problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
