It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
