I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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