I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
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