shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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