I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
