i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
She even gives head with a lisp.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
