i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
