Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
