yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Randomize
