Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
