from now on my penis is your penis
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
last night I used snow as a chaser
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
